Me Who?

I always seem to be thinking about my constant dilemma - how do we decide who we want to be in life? Is it something that just falls into place as we go and make choices one by one? How do I know if I'm making the right choices for paths to take, and whether or not I will be happy once I arrive at the final destination?

I've noticed that this seems to be a concern for many people in life, especially when it comes to education, jobs, partners, friendships, etc. Education is expensive... for me it causes concerns because I hate to be wasteful of time, money, & emotions. But it perplexes me that society expects me to decide what career to pick and which path to take to get there, without much experience to back up my choices. How am I supposed to plan such things for my future self, if I don't even know who that self will be by the time I get there? I am not the same self right now as I was 5 years ago, and I'm certain that by the time I am done of my education in the next 5 years, I will be a different self again. I'm not opposed to changing my mind multiple times in the future, but the expense of education makes it very difficult to do so.

I also often find myself wondering if I am content with who I am as a general person. The thoughts I've been tossing around in my head lately are mostly that I think my ideal self is to be someone unique and interesting; someone who is a pleasure to be around. I sometimes feel as though I am not living up to that standard I've set though. Just for kicks, I'm going to let you in on some facts you may not know about the me.

1) I love sweaters. I wish I was more fashion forward, but I really just love sweaters. For summers, I switch my love over to dresses.

2) I enjoy doing things alone. I have no problem eating out alone, shopping alone, going to community events or meetings alone, etc.

3) I'm developing more of a passion for nature and plants as I get older. I hate modern industrialization. Keep it simple, please.

4) I love baking and baked goods. There aren't really any foods I enjoy enough to pig out on, but baked goods would be my weakness. Especially with milk (although I think anyone who has worked or gone to school with me already knows about my love of milk by now...).

5) I think I'm missing part of my girl genes... make-up and shoes are not high on my list of interests.

6) I love getting to be creative - part of the reason I'm enjoying blogging is because it lets me exercise my love of writing. I used to get excited to write english exams in high school.

7) I kind of like being short. I don't like when people point it out bluntly.

8) I LOVE being organized... I think it sometimes borders on OCD.

9) Now that I don't live at home I really miss my cat Oreo, and it melts my heart when she shows that she misses me too. I don't want her to get older, because when she's gone there is going to be a real gap in her place.

10) I like the idea of travelling, but I don't cope with it very well in reality.


Well folks, that's all I've got right now. Thanks for reading my ramblings!