Positives In, Negatives Out

Let me just say, today is a good day. The last few days have had their ups and downs, as days often do. Even the beginning of today was not entirely promising. I woke up groggy only to see equally groggy weather outside my window. Thankfully this day seems to have good things in store for me, and things continued to look up as the day rolled out.

First of all, I am now at my summer job. This is a relief in a big way. I no longer have to worry about putting in 10 or 12 hours days while only getting paid for a small portion of the work I do. It's nice to only have to focus on one major thing for awhile. The summer ahead looks to be a good one. Hopefully it will be filled with things to keep me busy and pass the time at work, and few things to do on my days off so I can let the beach monopolize most of my time.

Secondly, I recieved a phone call while I was at work today telling me that I had won an award at college. I almost can't describe the pleasure this brings me. See, the thing about being a "worker" in school is that there are always those people who are "non-workers". Speaking from a "workers" perspective, it can be frustrating to spend a lot of time and effort in what you do, while the non-workers do much less and still finish with the same diploma. This award feels like a recognition of the countless efforts and hours I have put into my work over the last two years, and I am so thankful to be recieving it. Suck on that, non-workers.

I like letting these positive outweigh the negatives that could bog me down on this day. Positive parts to the day are what we should really spend our time focusing on and appreciating, anyway.

On a side note, one semi-negative of today was that I had to do a "piss test" (as the guys would say) at the new lab. Can I just say that I really hate having to try to pee in that little container? The sign of instructions in the bathroom has so many rules that I start to get anxious before I even get my pants down. I often feel as though I have probably messed something up, and thus will end up with an incorrect diagnosis somehow. I also tend to leave feeling guilty if even a drop of pee has touched the outside of the container. It's just SO HARD to be starting and stopping and starting and stopping without any spillage. I always leave hoping that the lab people will somehow be understanding of this difficulty and will ensure that they wear their protective gloves when touching such containers. Sigh... sorry lab people, I do my best but I am afraid it just never turns out quite as I hoped. I'll try to do better again next time.

Sobeys ain't glamorous.

I spent this evening training some new cashiers at work. Repeat again tomorrow.

I am thinking I may have made a wise choice in veering away from a career in teaching. It seems to be hard on my head, particularly when the student(s) appear uninterested... even though they are being paid to be there? How is it that they seem to think they already know everything about the job, even though they have never experienced it before? Intriguing and also annoying. I will be glad to not have to do it again for awhile.

Perhaps I would enjoy training more if I didn't dislike the job I was teaching people to do. This job is just not meant for me in the long term. I sometimes resist the urge to suggest that people just ring in their own damn groceries... they seem to think they know how to do the job better than me anyway. Guess 5 years is not enough experience to give me credibility? The public is tiring and I think I am burned out of this job. Will be glad when I can move on from it permanently. Thank you, higher education (which is a whole other bone of contention I could get into... but perhaps I will save that rant for another night).

Time to move on and finish paperwork that will actually go towards allowing me to graduate from some of my higher education! Blogging is fun, but sadly it is not terribly productive. I hear sunshine is coming our way in the Maritimes... couldn't it occur more often on my days off instead??? Enjoy it!

Exercise & Talents (The two are not related...)

Good god... now I remember why getting in shape is so daunting. I went for a lovely long bike ride yesterday (with an ice cream stop about half-way) and felt super! I'm so fit and active! Go me, hurrah! ...Fast forward to about five hours later... pure agony. Couldn't walk... or sit... or even lay down, really. But, do not depair loyal blog readers! I plan to get back out sometime this week and do it all again. I am really going to try to commit this time... no, seriously, I am.

Enough about exercise though, I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Let's talk about talents for a few minutes here. My mother and I had a discussion about this a few days ago while I was demonstrating one of my talents for her. Do I have a lot of them? No. Sadly, I was not granted the musical, athletic, or genius genes. I think I got some extra "shortie" genes and not enough of the others. Bummer for me. Alas, I do have a few talents in which I take some pride. Are they useful or money-making in any way? Not so much. My main talents are: Baking, reading, spelling, and hula-hooping. I'm also pretty OCD which gives me good organizational skills. Now, try not to get too down because you don't have these superior talents yourself. I'm sure that you as an individual have many of your own talents... and I would love to hear about them! We as humans often tend to sell ourselves short on our true abilities (after all, I didn't even mention wiggling my ears as one of my talents). I wonder if this is connected to the fact that people are often sparse with their compliments towards others? Seems like a potential cycle... people do not realize they have real talent because others do not acknowledge it... then the green eyed monster prevents us from acknowledging others achievements, because we as individuals feel that we have few talents ourselves. Just some thoughts from Jessica-land...

How old is too old...?

Bits and Pieces

No significants thoughts floating around in my head today, sadly. Just went to get some groceries... ouch says the wallet. Thank god for parents who enjoy feeding their moochy children. I will be very glad to go back to getting paid for all the work I do in a week... this unpaid work-term stuff is for the birds. My summer job that pays is starting at the end of this month... wallet will be stretched less then...phew!

Travelling to Toronto very soon... will probably be relatively nerve-wrecking for me as I have never been responsible for myself during trips that require flights to get there. Glad to be going with a posse though, surely four heads put together will get us where we need to be???

Time to be productive, I suppose. Until later... I leave you with a helpful tip...

Perceptions

Thinking about perceptions and genuineness over the last few days. It was sparked when a client, who I had truly believed was genuine about making a change in his life, was charged with two counts of assault against his partner and is now in jail. We had just seen him two days before in an evening group session, and he talked about the progress he and his partner were making, and how they were hoping to gain community access with their children soon. He talked about the terrible influence addictions had been in his relationship, but has since realized what a great match he and his partner are when they are sober.

The news of the assault came as a true shock, because I had percieved this client in a very different light beforehand. The guys we work with tend to be masters at this manipulation of others... but I have often found that other people in my life have been masters at this as well.

It makes me wonder...why? Why do people put this massive effort into manipulating other peoples perceptions of them? Often I think it's due to insecurities about the life they are leading... but for me it is just hard to imagine wasting time and effort being resistant to living genuinely. I have lost many friendships for this reason alone, and I sometimes find myself lamenting that things didn't work out differently... because I had seen some glimpses of true selves, and I could see myself connecting much more to that version of these people.

Do other people feel the same about this? It's really quite common if you stop and look around...

A new adventure! Or a temporary hobby...

Well, it looks like I'm taking on a new learning experience... AKA blogging. I always thought blogs seemed pretty dull and pointless for the most part, but I have to say that my cousin Yvonne & my aunt Allison have inspired me!

To be honest, I'll probably lose interest and forget about the whole thing within a month or two, as tends to often happen with me and electronic things... but until then I'm looking forward to posting some of my thoughts and (hopefully) interesting daily experiences. Or it'll just be me venting about my general dislike for the public... could go either way, really!

So that wraps up my very first blog post, stay tuned for the next installment of J Hodda's everyday life...