Perceptions

Thinking about perceptions and genuineness over the last few days. It was sparked when a client, who I had truly believed was genuine about making a change in his life, was charged with two counts of assault against his partner and is now in jail. We had just seen him two days before in an evening group session, and he talked about the progress he and his partner were making, and how they were hoping to gain community access with their children soon. He talked about the terrible influence addictions had been in his relationship, but has since realized what a great match he and his partner are when they are sober.

The news of the assault came as a true shock, because I had percieved this client in a very different light beforehand. The guys we work with tend to be masters at this manipulation of others... but I have often found that other people in my life have been masters at this as well.

It makes me wonder...why? Why do people put this massive effort into manipulating other peoples perceptions of them? Often I think it's due to insecurities about the life they are leading... but for me it is just hard to imagine wasting time and effort being resistant to living genuinely. I have lost many friendships for this reason alone, and I sometimes find myself lamenting that things didn't work out differently... because I had seen some glimpses of true selves, and I could see myself connecting much more to that version of these people.

Do other people feel the same about this? It's really quite common if you stop and look around...